I lie to myself and to others on a regular basis when it comes to food. Even worse I don't even feel bad about it....at least I didn't until I saw that video.
If I am counting points I don't write them all down. If I am counting calories I count fewer than I eat.
I eat stuff when no one is around so I can eat more. I don't feel like I am binging . I consider myself more of a grazer but now that I looked at that website maybe I am binging.
Ugh. One of my girlfriends at Life Group said "I don't eat a whole box of truffles because I know there will be consequences for that." We were discussing addictions and habits after the sermon last week. I have had a mindset for a long time that if I deny myself I will just eat the whole thing so why not indulge. The problem is I don't stop. I do eat the entire box of truffles because they are there and because I like the taste. They don't make me feel full, they don't make me feel sick. It is the same with Klondike Pretzel ice cream bars. I will eat 3 of them because I like the way they taste.
It has to stop. I have seen people lose a whole bunch of weight just to gain back more. I have lost a few pounds here and there but have pretty consistently kept gaining weight. I have been checked for thyroid issues and all of that. It doesn't seem to be medical. Of course the Dr we have gone to makes me feel like I am an idiot every time I am in there.
I saw something about a woman today that had lost over 100 pounds and people don't even recognize her anymore. To be a "healthy weight" I need to lose at least 65 pounds. It seems like such a hard road. I feel like I need to just cut out anything that tastes good and just eat lettuce. Yuck. It frustrates me to think about going on a diet or a "change of lifestyle" because apparently I have an unhealthy love affair with food. It makes me feel good. I love chocolate. I think there have been weeks when I have subsisted on chocolate and ice cream.
I read all the tricks like take a walk if you are tempted to cheat, drink a glass of water..you're probably thirsty, go scrapbook for awhile.
I feel like I have been in such a state of chaos for so long I don't know how to get out of it. We are trying to get our house ready to sell. That alone is stressing me out. It doesn't matter I still need to keep my head above water trying to clean the house and cook dinner. Those are normal things.
Small changes....another thing people say to do....
1. get rid of all the junk food
2. exercise at least 10 minutes a day
3. drink at least 8 glasses of water a day
4. tell a friend how I am doing
5. track every bite that goes in my mouth.
If anyone is reading this please feel free to comment. Any suggestions are welcome...
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A place to share our journey with weight loss in 2007.
1 comment:
Hi! I found your site through a friend of a friend's blog. Anyway, I can totally relate to your posts!! I am definitely an emotional eater. I tend to lose weight and then sabatoge myself and somehow gain it all back. I have been trying to lose weight since having my son last year. It is so hard!! I am finaly getting there, but it is so hard. I have found that people have been asking if I am starving myself or tell me to "quit obsessing" over my weight. I don't really talk about my struggles to anyone because I feel that they aren't supportive at all!! Of course, I do feel alone. I NEVER starve myself-- in fact I always wished that I could avoid eating. I just basically follow the weight watchers plan. I am a lifetime member. I gained a lot of weight in college and followed the program-- that was in 2000. Anyway, good luck! If you need someone to talk to please let me know. My email is klgraser@yahoo.com.
~Karin :)
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